Thursday, June 20, 2013

Writing Exercise - More Show vs Tell

Telling:
There’s no way I’m going on a date with Ned the Gnome. He creeps me out. Big time.

Showing:
Ned the Gnome pulled the legs off his third insect appetizer and plopped them one by one into his mouth. The grasshopper’s body still twitched and Ned held it up by its antennas, smacking his lips. The gnome stuck out his tongue and licked the thick, plump torso, vacuuming it into his mouth while wrapping his lips around the helpless creature. With a crunch and a suck, Ned pinched the head right off and swallowed the rest. The dead grasshopper’s head landed back on his plate with a plink! Ned licked each of his twelve fingers in turn and went to work on his fourth fresh delicacy.

Seated a few booths away, Friley shuddered and looked at her friend Briley, who grimaced and shrugged her shoulders. “I’m glad I insisted we check out your potential prom date suggestions, Briley. There’s no way you’re going to talk me into going out with Ned the Gnome!”
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