Monday, January 23, 2006

WICHITA (LPs Wire)
Unsolicited Comments
Captioning Today's Headlines

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WASHINGTON (AP)
Dolittle Defends Relations With Lobbyist
Says he can talk with the animals

MANHATTAN, Kan. (AP)
Bush Defends 'Terrorist Surveillance'
"Just because I'm not paranoid doesn't mean somebody's not out to get me."

SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP)
NASA Official to Seek Extraterrestrials
BILLions and BILLions fooled

PARIS (AP)
'Da Vinci Code' to Open at Cannes
Probably where it should stay - in the can

KUWAIT CITY (AP)
Kuwait's Ailing Emir Agrees to Abdicate
Or: Kuwait's Sickly Sultan Says He'll Step Down
Or: Kuwait's Rundown Rajah to Relinquish Rule
Or: Kuwait's Tottering Tyrant to Toss the Throne
Or You: Go ahead, give it a try...

HAPEVILLE, Ga. (AP)
Ford Workers Upset About Plant Closures
Ford Prefect Upset About Vogan Poetry*

WASHINGTON (Reuters)
Author's sales jump after Osama mentions book
Terrorist on to something, might launch 'O' magazine next

CHICAGO (Reuters)
Drunk-driving suspect flees in police car
Found later doing donuts in station parking lot

BERLIN (AP)
Man Trapped in Toilet When Lock Freezes
Forgot to flush his system with anti-freeze

Now It's Your Turn
PORTSMOUTH, ENGLAND (Christian Science Monitor)
R-e-s-p-e-c-t, find out what it means to England
Your Comment Here...

Sample More Headlines at . . .
Basil's Blog (1.23.2006) ~
Animal Rights Activists Stage Nude Protest
Really ugly activists not winning support

Dane Bramage (1.20.2006) ~
Man Said to Fake Death, Keep Child Support
This guy takes the "dead" in deadbeat dad seriously
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