Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Harry Potter Spoilers

Inspired by IMAO ("Voldemort is the name of Harry's sled.") I thought I'd share a few Book 7 spoilers of my own...

5. To appease her critics, Rowling converts Hogwarts into a Southern Baptist Seminary.

4. All obscure symbolism is explained: e.g., Severus Snape ("sever his nape") is really Nearly Headless Nick.

3. The story is really about a murder mystery at All Hallows High School in the Bronx.

2. Harry is not a wizard after all. He was only joking.

#1 Spoiler - J.K. Rowling really has no idea where this story is going so has to sign another 7-book deal to try to figure it out herself.

Also, Time Magazine offers some future titles to keep the franchise going with the help of some subtle product placement like: HARRY POTTER AND THE PIMPING OF HIS RIDE - With his new bagless Dyson DC07, Harry has never flown faster, and Gryffindor has never been cleaner!

Update 7.19 - Another spoof by Lady Rose.
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