Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Harry Potter Spoilers

Inspired by IMAO ("Voldemort is the name of Harry's sled.") I thought I'd share a few Book 7 spoilers of my own...

5. To appease her critics, Rowling converts Hogwarts into a Southern Baptist Seminary.

4. All obscure symbolism is explained: e.g., Severus Snape ("sever his nape") is really Nearly Headless Nick.

3. The story is really about a murder mystery at All Hallows High School in the Bronx.

2. Harry is not a wizard after all. He was only joking.

#1 Spoiler - J.K. Rowling really has no idea where this story is going so has to sign another 7-book deal to try to figure it out herself.

Also, Time Magazine offers some future titles to keep the franchise going with the help of some subtle product placement like: HARRY POTTER AND THE PIMPING OF HIS RIDE - With his new bagless Dyson DC07, Harry has never flown faster, and Gryffindor has never been cleaner!

Update 7.19 - Another spoof by Lady Rose.


  1. I meant #5 (because of the case in Florida).

  2. You realize I must now come up with spoilers, too?

    These are funny. I like 4 and 5 myself.

  3. hehehe great ideas! :)

    Tahnks for stopping over and seeing the funny spoiler List I posted Thurs.


Keep it clean and positive. (And sorry about the word verification, but the spmb*ts are out in full force!)